噩梦是有原因的

那第一步真的真的，很难。改变，对我来说简直就是个噩梦！comfort zone, 我，不想从那唯一有光线的里面出来。外面一片黑暗，完全看不到前方。怎么办？我是一个胆小鬼，却很好胜。虽然嘴里不说，心里已是一片混乱，纠结，矛盾，悲愤，可悲，嫉妒，羡慕，无言，无奈，百感交集。什么东西，卡在喉咙里，手不停的抓着喉咙。我想要呐喊，喊吧，喊吧，喊吧~！只要喊出来，说清楚就行了！为什么，为什么，对我来说是那么的，那么的，难？谁来？谁来把我从那里面，救出来？快，赶快！黑和白已变成漩涡，我就要被淹没了。。。

从梦中惊醒过来，手已被握得通红，指甲印在手掌上，久久不能消退。用手背把额头的汗擦干，刘海已经湿的变柳条状了。转头看向那小方块的钟，时针指向6.25am。这么早啊？好久好久，没做梦了。这个梦是什么啊？一片混乱，是在暗示我的心理吗？心脏还在扑通扑通的跳。脑袋还是一片混乱。什么跟什么嘛？难得的假期，竟然这么早醒。刚才的梦已把我弄得整个精神起来了，怎么都睡不着。

MiDDLE!

I like middle, such as
middle of the seats, so no stranger will sit beside me n i can put my things on both sides
middle of the set time, means if i cant decide a time frame between 10am to 11am, just make it 10.30am!
middle of the street, forming a circle in the middle of the road or street or walkway with friends and talk
middle of the bed, so i wont fall down n have plenty of space to roll over
middle of the shower, i don like getting in or out of the shower but in the middle of it cause its cold outside!
etc.
however, there's a middle i hate to do n been doing it almost whole my life......
MIDDLE PERSON
I dislike being a middle person between conflicts, or potential conflicts, or whatsoeverwouldyoucallit
its not a good place to be in the middle but sometimes u just cant stop being it when u're the only one able to do it. that's what make it even worst cause u cant just quit. cant stop feeling helplessness (无奈感)

蛮喜欢的一句话

生活并不完美，但并不代表它不美，多看看你人生当中美的部分吧。否则我们永远会有羡慕不完的别人的人生。---《我可能不会爱你》

吼吼吼~~~！

这种无奈的感觉是什么啊？？试图说服自己却难以接受的感觉。。。真想把自己打死算了！天啊！怎么会有这种厚脸皮的人啊！？吼吼吼~~~！！！好了，发泄够了。。。得过正常的生活了。谢谢收听~！gamsia gamsia! kamsahamida! arigatou gozaimasu! terima kasih! thankiw thankiw!