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Thursday, December 29, 2011

open SESAME

我重来就没有打开过心扉。就连我的家人,我的朋友,一个人都没,也没为谁打开过。有谁能让我不害怕地说出我的心声吗?到底怎样才能说出真心话?怎样才能真正的表达我的想法,我的真心难道一辈子也找不到去处了吗?我这个人实在很难表达我自己...也难怪到现在也没有一个人能理解我。不能怪其它人,不能怪...
我呢,表面上算是个乐观,不,应该是个脾气很好,算是个有耐心的人吧。可是我也有很生气的时候。人的忍耐是有极限的。但每个人都以为我在开玩笑。也是啊。不怎么在别人面前生气的人,没表达过我的真实感受的我,很难让人感觉到我的怒气吧。算了,就算生气又怎么了。又能怎样?只会被别人说成是小气吧?看在我肺活量很大,所以可以无视我的感受,继续让我这么难堪,继续糟踏我吧!就算是在训练我的肺。我,会接受挑战!!
我这个人,总是对周围的事漠不关心。心里,总是少了什么激情,激动,热情。实在很少有这种感觉。我是不是不正常啊?

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Past tense of FRIENDS?

I guess friends have past tense. It's cruel but it's a fact. We don't get that close like we used to be if one of us is not around. I guess that can't be help. Friends should be there with you at times of distress, suffer and while sharing your happiness and joy. But even with the closest friend, it tends to get harder to understand the feelings of those not around you anymore. Friends would turn to others who are closer to them at that time around. And this ended up stretching the friendship line longer and longer and eventually snaps, just like that. It won't be the same anymore. Somehow, some people would just cut off all connections with you when you're gone. It's like the times we spent together were just all temporary relationship and we should never get to contact anymore. What's this kind of relationship called? Are we not friends from the start? Am I just a play toy? That you can forget about if we don't have any connections anymore? What's that left of us are just memories of the past and that we should move forward and completely forget about the past? Was the memory that unpleasant?

Despite all that, I still believe in Friends Forever. We might not be the same as ever, our destination may change, our frequency may not overlap anymore. But don't worry, we'll just have to turn our channel to the right frequency. People change, over time. No matter how they change, they're still the ones you know once. They're still in there, somehow. I hope, that some day, I can really find a friend that can really be called as a friend and that we don't have to use the past tense Friend. CHEERS TO FRIENDS FOREVER!! LOVE YOU MY FRIENDS!!!

Friday, November 4, 2011

***Story to be TOLD(CONT.-3)***

I was dazed, confused and most of all, frustrated. I. Want. MY. LIFE. BACK. All I could do right that moment was to stare at him when he revealed the bad news of my life. What’s most unbelievable was that he spoke in a manner as if this was not his matter, not his fault, none of his business, in a flat voice. And right now, we’re finally out of that round space, on the street with not much people.

“Everyone’s just starting the day. Guess this is something same in every world.” I was relieved to see something that’s more like in reality.

“It’s not the start. It’s the end of the day. People are now going back home from work.”

Eh?

“No kidding?” I could feel my heightened heart spiral down, deeper into the black pit.

“Yes. No kidding.” He gave me a serious look. Talking with this guy was tiring. He’s expressionless and toneless. Too much seriousness, at least much more than mine.

“By the way, what’s your name?” I was trying to lighten up the atmosphere. (In fact was trying to escape from reality.)

“I am known as Kish in your world.”

“Kish? Hmmm… Where did I come across that name? It sounds familiar.”

“…”

“Do you want me to tell you my name?”

“It’s your freedom to do so.”

“…Right. My name is Caroline. Call me Carl.”

“Carl.”

“Yes?”

“You told me to call you.”

“…” No more talking from me!

We walked through the streets without talking. However, the situation was getting out of control for me----I need the toilet! Although I swear I wouldn’t start the conversation anymore but this was out of the question.

“Kish! Where’s the wash room?” As far as I was concerned, I haven’t seen a toilet sign around here. The buildings were all rounded or twisted in a crazy angle. Not considering the weird taste of design they had, it’s a miracle they could even build this thing without the buildings collapsing. The buildings here made Pisa Tower a work of kindergarten. Let’s talk about the one we’re about to pass. The window, which I assumed a window… What? You’re saying I couldn’t even recognise a window was a big joke? Oh, come on! How would you expect me to know just by looking at this splendid structure? It’s not even up in the wall beside the door. It’s down there jutting out of the wall while the door which I assumed again based on the height of that hole was above it. So…the people here must have long legs? Or they trained high jump since little? There must be high jump champions all over this place…

Not only the buildings were in jeopardy, the street lights were shorter than me and pointing upwards. Is this some kind of sports event or a stage play going on recently? Although it’s all bright and shine out here, there wasn’t anyone on the streets. Guess this is a vampire world?

“It’s underground. “

“Underground? Right. Why am I not surprised?”

“You’re not?”

“… Just take me there.”

We walked a distance down the streets. No. It’s actually “up” the street, literally. Then down again.

“Wow!” The scene suddenly changed into a completely different view. It brought my imagination to a whole new level. This was not a terrestrial world. It’s air borne! Looking down from where I was standing, I couldn’t see what’s down there. There were only clouds which were blue!

“Please tell me that we’re not standing on a floating island.”

“We’re not.”

“Pheww… I guess there’s a limit to how things can be out of hand.”

“We’re actually on a floating building.”

“… You. Are. Hopeless!”

“I never said I was hopeful.”

“Are you playing dumb all this while? Why can you talk back so fluently at times like this and don’t seem to get it most of the time?”

“I’m just saying what’s in my mind.” Kish gave a puzzled look.

“You could be awarded the Oscar award back in my world, if we ever managed to go back.” Ignoring his questioned look, I scanned around this miraculous space. As I exploited my eyes to see in the far distance, I spotted an enormous “something” floating in front of us.

“What’s that?” I pointed at that floating “something”.

“It’s another building.”

“I think I messed up the meaning of the word ‘building’ a tad bit. Care explaining it to me?”

“Building means any human-made structure used or intended for supporting or sheltering any use or continuous occupancy, or an act of construction. Buildings come in a variety of shapes and sizes and functions…”

“Wait! Stop! That’s enough. I get it already! You can be quite talkative when we’re on the right topic. Anyway, just take me there, will you? All of this shock is going to drive me into anxiety.”

“This way.”

He led me to another alley and then what’s in front of me just choked me. It’s nothing like before. Okay, maybe this was nothing compared to the travel to other dimension and the floating buildings. But this was still… least bit of intriguing… What’s in front was what would appear in the world famous…game Super Mario. The huge pipe that Mario used to go down some place in the game… Okay, why am I not impressed? Well, considering all the things I’ve been through, there should be something a lot cooler than this? Please don’t let down my imagination. I was just imagining something more…more…exciting! Maybe a gigantic dragon that can fly us down there or some high-tec flying machine or just a small teleportation technology would be waaayy cooler! What’s a pipe doing here?

I could imagine myself with more than three lines at the side of my head. He must have seen my darkening façade as he started to move slowly away from me. Maybe I was a tad bit overreacted. You can’t blame me. I was thrown to this place without prior notice through some bizarre method. Of course I would expect something more than just this pipe!

“Ehem! Here we are. We just need to jump down this pipe to go to the lower le…vel…” Well, I don’t blame him for reacting like that. It must be my scary-twitching-facial-muscle that scared him. I doubted he’s scared, more like just detected a dangerous-smelling package that’s about to explode.

Cool down… Take a deep breath Carl. There must be something more complicated that meets the eye. They must have some sophisticated machinery doing all this. Besides, there is some very simple design that’s more useful than it looks. Don’t judge a book by its cover!

“Right, let’s go. What are you waiting for?” Forcing a smile, we continued our journey to the---wash room. Okay, how lame could I be?

*****************************************************


Sunday, October 16, 2011

I'm alone but not LONELY!

Wow! This is my first time posting since I came here. It's been a...completely different feeling. So many new things and feelings piled up till now. Sometimes I do have a feeling that I'm going home soon when the class ended. The place where I call home is where my love ones are.... But then I realized I'm going back to where I'm alone in a small room. I don't really feel homesick. Maybe that's only what I've been trying to make myself believe. I thought I've adapted to this new place I call home where I've made new friends, new views, new environment and completely different weather... I did but I still miss you people, people that I call family, people that I call friends whom I spent most of my unforgettable moments together. Hope everything's fine with all of you. Hope we can still meet each other in the future. Hope I can find really good friends who will stand by me during hardships. I'm looking forward to that and my Uni life! Love you all, My Family, Mom, Bro, Sister-In-Law, Niece and My Friends who I Met and will Meet!!

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Character design: KISH

How 'bout this for Kish? Grey bleak eyes, tousled short hair, black cool razor suit with a no sleeve coat and light boots, holding the keys to dimension portals in a night with moonlight shining down. I was thinking of giving him cooler outfits and maybe weapons. Maybe next time, so to not reveal anything yet. hehe...

Monday, September 19, 2011

Character design: CAROLINE (CARL)

This is what I have in mind for Caroline in the Story to be Told. She's got cool beauty blue eyes and red layered short cut hair. Kinda like punk-ish outfit. Works part time late night. Gets into some weird portal into another dimension. Is it very different from what you have in mind? (oops if it disappoint you XP) If you can't see the picture, just click on it.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

***Story to be TOLD(CONT.-2)***

“Urgh…”

“You’re finally up! How are you feeling? I don’t see first aid here so…just bear with it a little.”

The guy pushed himself up. Still confused, he grabbed his right shoulder with the other hand. There was no more blood oozing out. What replaced it was a makeshift bandage of a cloth. He looked up at the girl in front of him. There was light in the room so he didn’t need to squint in the darkness anymore. The girl looked at him with curious eyes mixed with some…admiring spark? The guy was sure he must have been unconscious for far too long.

“Hello…. anybody home? Are you feeling alright? You’ve been out for like hours. Can you tell me where are we? And who are you? Why are you hurt?”

“…Who are you?”

“That’s what I asked. Can you please at least answer my question of what is this place?”

“We’re in Sephore.”

“…Excuse me. Maybe my Geography isn’t that good. Can you please repeat that?”

“This is Sephore. Another dimension from where you came.”

“……Wow… You must have an awesome dream to the other dimension. How’s life there? Do they have round houses like this? Do they sleep on feathers? Are there any doors in their houses? Because you know I didn’t see any in here. I’ve been trying to go out and find out where is this. And most of all, trying to make sense of everything that had happened!” The girl finally burst. She looked at the guy with bright wide eyes, filled with anxiety, eagerness and confusion.

The guy finally woke up from all her hysterical exclamation. He observed her for a short moment. Maybe he couldn’t bear the heat of her gaze boring into his face. Alas, he opened his mouth, more serious this time.

“This is another dimension from your original world, Sephore. I’m from this dimension. I was sent to your world to... for a mission. Last time, I had an accident and I hurt myself and then I saw you. I couldn’t see well that time. It was dark. I thought you were someone I after… so I…attacked you.” The guy finished in one breath.

“…So…it was not some bad taste dream?” The guy nodded.

“So I was actually thrown into some kind of...crack…a hole in the space into a totally different world?” The girl was like talking to herself, trying to make sense out of this mystery, in the same time trying hard to persuade herself that the guy in front of her, despite of his looks, ran away from some psychiatric hospital.

“It’s not totally different to be honest.” The guy didn’t seem to notice what the girl was going through and added on the misery in her.

“This world we’re in now, it’s like a reverse version of the world you came from. Not exactly the physical way but there are some exceptions. As you can see, the buildings here are round instead of square or rectangular. They don’t put feathers in mattresses like how it was done in the other world but let them run free.”

The girl finally looked into the guys’ eyes as if searching for something that could give away that he’s actually out of his mind and was playing around with her. However, at the same time she was struggling with herself to not give in to his mesmerizing eyes. After much effort, she gave up and held her head like she had a bad headache.

“Okay. Assume what you’re saying was true. Why am I here? Is there any way out?” The girl gazed into the guys’ eyes again, to see if she could catch a glimpse of hope in his clear grey eyes.

“There is. But…” The guy hesitated.

“But…?” The girl tried to coax him to say the whole story, the truth and her future.

“There’s a situation. We can’t go back for the time being. A certain thing is needed to go through space into another dimension. We need a key.”

“So? Just go grab your key and teleport me out of here.” The girl could almost see the first light of the day in her despair.

“The key isn’t something that can be taken easily. I used up the last bit of it by coming here with you.”

“Then just go get it already!” The girl seemed to be in hysterical state.

“I said it’s not easy to get it.”

“Then tell me what is it and I’ll just take it myself.”

“It’s the heart of others.”

“Huh?”

*****************************************************

Friday, September 9, 2011

Think NEGATIVE?!

oopsy!! lately, I've been a bit negative. Must be because I've been alone in the room "cooking" drama for far too long hours. I've begun to think about negative stuff like why am I here, or who am I. seems like corny old questions asked too much in the drama. but this is truly how i feel. I'm not a great person, obviously, nor a person with talents. i'm just an ordinary girl imagining of not so ordinary stuff in her dreams. the sad thing is, I have no talent. well, at least as far as I know, I still cant find what's the thing I want to do the most, what is the thing that I'm really good at. I'm not an enthusiastic person. I'm ignorant. I'm ignorant to the world around me. I dont seem to care about what happened around me. It's like it's no business to me. I may be care about something at some point but I always loss the "enthusiasm" in it and move on. I dont know if that's a good thing or not. But it definitely do me no good at some point in my life. I want to feel enthusiastic. I want to express myself. I want to have someone to talk about my feelings, my thoughts. I need someone who doesn't judge me for who I am. I admit. I'm afraid of what others think of me. I'm scared that they don't like me, I'm scared that they hate me. I'm scared that they dont care for me. I admit sometimes I'm a selfish person. but this may account to my lack of enthusiasm for anything. I cant feel it, the feeling so strong to want to do something or to care for someone or something. Why? why cant i feel it? things can be so much easier if i can feel it. I have one more bad habit. to run from the things i dont like. yes, reluctant is the word. I feel reluctance for the things i hate or dislike. I'm reluctant. I run away. from reality, from friends who needs help n support, from the feelings i had for others. I'm afraid to reveal them, afraid to express my feelings and thoughts. i, run away... i dont dare to take the responsibility. i'm afraid to take it because i know i may not be able to keep the promises i made. so i dont make promises. anyone who knows me well enough might as well know this side of me. of not daring enough to take the chance, to promise anyone anything that's important. it's because i dont have the enthusiasm in the things i do. in fact, i loss my enthusiasm fast. i lost interest in something really fast and ended up not doing it well enough. i dont know what i'm writing at this point. i might be just trying to complain to myself or just to express my thoughts about myself. it's just so hard. i cant seem to have the courage to say out loud my thoughts and feelings. no one as ever seen the real me. of what i really think. maybe it's my reluctance doing its "job" again.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

***Story to be TOLD (Cont.-1)***

Actually wrote this long time ago but didn't get the chance to upload till now. haha...typically of me... >W<

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When I opened my eyes, I saw nothing but darkness. That gave me a jolt. But soon my sight adjusted to this darkness and I started to come clear with my surroundings. It's a round space. I could feel the soft touch of something underneath me. Where am I? I tried to drag myself up. My whole body felt as heavy as lead. My muscles felt screwed up, sore like I've been through some enormous washing-machine-spin. When I finally found the strength to pull myself up, I began to recollect what I've seen the other night.

The dark-deep-black eyes that seemed to stir and suck anyone in while looking at it. The owner of those eyes... Oh right! He disappeared right in front of me and then....and then...it's already all dark... I couldn't remember anything afterwards. It's all a blur. It didn't even seem real at all. However, my body have been giving me signals and signs what I've been through must be a nightmare come true.

Something moved, very slightly, against my right ankle. That gave me goose bumps. I quickly recoiled from it but felt something beside me. It felt like…skin? I mean human, of course. Not snake! Definitely not! Trying to convince myself, I finally found the courage to open my eyes to take a look. I squeezed my eyes in the darkness and I saw…a human shape lying beside me.

“Pheww…” Thank God it’s really the same species with me. I gave it a harder look and I realise instantly who was that, it was the same person I saw the before I became unconscious.

It’s the guy from before! Isn’t him the one who made me black out? Why is he here? He can’t be fallen asleep after kidnapping me? Does that mean this is my chance to escape? Wow! With a closer look he is a masterpiece! Wait! What the heck am I thinking?! He could be the one who kidnapped me! No! Judging by his looks he can’t be a bad guy! AAAAHHH!! What am I thinking? How am I different from Chris?! I’m not a pervert! So many questions and thoughts flew through my mind. After all those nonsense thoughts, I realised he had a contorted look. He looked as if he’s in pain, with perspiration covering his face and rolling down his cheeks. His eyebrows furrowed like the Grand Canyon.

“Hey! A…are you alright? Hey! Can you hear me? Wake up! Where is this place? Oi! Listen to me!”

SLAP!

“Aargh!” He finally gave out a groan and opened his eyes a little. The moment our eyes met, he quickly sat up with his eyes wide open. But the quick movement must have affected him because he immediately holds his shoulder and his eyebrows furrowed even more. He looked paler than before.

“Are you ok?”

“Why are you here? Who are you?”

“You really are a snatcher. That’s supposed to be MY question. Where is this place? And who are you? Why are you hurt?”

His perfect grey eyes stirred with confusion. Wow! Even his troubled look looks amazingly charming! Ehem…! I mean he looked confused. When he finally opened his mouth, he let out a groan and…passed out.

“Hey! Don’t faint again! I can’t guarantee what I’ll do! I mean… I don’t know what to do! Hey!”

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Packing TIME!

It's the packing season already?! Geez... I haven had enough of my holidays.... Ok I know I know. More than 3 months is a tad bit too long of a holiday without working and so so... I'm getting the lazy bones. Ok I know I know. I never had the hard work bones either. Don't need to be that honest, 'kay? geez...
I think I'm gonna pack my whole closet if I keep squashing everything in. Guess I'm going to leave something behind... something physical and mental too. that's going to be hard, isn't it? Should I keep my old self here or pack it over too? I'm afraid to leave something that's precious to me and develop another self that I don't even recognize myself. So it's still ok to keep some of myself and pack them in me, right?
That's funny. I'm listening to Temporary Home by Carrie Underwood right now. This song quite suit the feelings now.
"This is my temporary home. It's not where I belong. Windows and rooms that I'm passin' through. This is just a stop, on the way to where I'm going. I'm not afraid because I know this is my temporary home."

Monday, August 29, 2011

Chinese novels! My recent ADDICT!

Recently I've been addicted to some chinese novels. I would go as far as to buy the books if I come across it. Here's some you can really try it out:


1/2 Prince(1/2王子)


No Hero(非关英雄)

The Legend Of Sun Knight(吾命骑士)


Don't Kill(不杀)

玄日狩

By the way, all of these from the same author 御我。
Happy Flipping! =D







Sunday, August 28, 2011

没有完美的人


一个人有令人厌惡或悲伤的事,都沒关系。因为那会成为形塑那个人的心。没有完美的人,也沒有人一辈子不受伤害。。。痛苦的事,让人厌惡的事,悲伤的事,都是那个人重要的一部份,不是不需要的东西。不管失败或受伤,人类的成长都需要这些东西的不断累贅,在种种经历中成长。

银色钻石


就是因为有这些不完美的部份,才会构成毎个不同的人生,才会special 吧!


Sunday, August 21, 2011

***Story to be TOLD***

“Great! Just great!”

“Sorry, Carl but please~!”

“If sorry works, what’s the use of police, the law, the fines, the court and the judges!”

“Oh come on! This isn’t the first time. I believe you can do it!” Christine smiled.

I could only give her a blank look. Well, it’s not completely blank, with occasional twitch on my face.

“So what’s on that day? Who’s so important that I have to take your shift, AGAIN?”

“It’s his birthday. I want to do something special for him.”

Right, him again. How many times have I taken over her work shift just for that beloved him of hers.

“Fine, but with one condition.” I gave a suspicious smile.

“Wha…what is it?” Aha! It’s that look. I can have her do anything for me.

“Hmmm, I want you to tell me what happens on that special day of yours and introduce his best mate to me. I mean with the best conditions.”

“No can’t do. Because I already have the best!” Christine looked away with sparkling in her eyes. Wait! Sparkling? That must be my imagination. She always had this kind of look when she’s talking about her special someone. She’s been bubbling about now and then how her beloved care for her, how much he love her and how’s that she can’t live without him.

I can feel my facial muscles twitch into a scary angle. She must had finally noticed my unusual twitching facial expression and collected back her sparkling eyes.

“Ehem! Right! Back to where we left. Well, I can introduce you the second best. He’s in the class next door. His name’s Kish. Actually I don’t know much about him. But if you want the looks, his the second best to mine.” Christine shifted to her day dreaming look again.

Pushing down my growing urge to refuse her plead, I quickly pull her back to reality. Otherwise, I would have to wait for her to finally realize it’s already day break and she missed his birthday and I have my ear drums hurt all year.

“…Whatever. Just introduce him to me after this. And it’s better worth it.”

We reached our destination. No. My destination, our part-time work place. After we bid goodbyes and her flying grateful look, I went in to explain to the store’s manager about us changing shift.

*********************************************************

9.27pm. It’s already this late? Oh, right. I took over Christine’s shift, too. I walked down the pavement which was the short cut to my house. It’s not that dark tonight. The moonlight splashed her beautiful silver white light on the Earth’s surface. I can somehow feel the warmth of the light on my face and the soft wind caressing my face and arms. This soothing feeling can only be felt at night. I stood still and let the wind blew, flowing through my hair.

THUD! CRASH!

What was that? The sudden noise made me jerk and opened my eyes.

“Oh dear! I better get going or else I might get myself into something. “

PATAK PATAKPATAK…

“Urgh! Hah hah hah…”

There’s someone! It’s from the back alley. It sounded like it’s in pain. What should I do? I took a peek at the back alley not far from where I was.

The second I saw him, my breath was taken away. No, it’s not like I’m dead. I mean it’s a breathtaking view. There was a person supporting himself on his back against the wall. He was wearing a red shirt and black tights. Under the moonlight, his face looked pale. His black hair plastered on his sweat-stained face. His face, I couldn’t see it from this distance, but I could tell it’s quite good-looking.

Suddenly, as if he just woke up from his pain, he looked at my way. I felt a jolt and he---disappeared from my sight. Eh? Still confused, I blacked out. Just before I fell into an abyss of darkness, I saw the guy’s face with dark eyes so deep it reminded me of a black hole…

*********************************************************